At home with wasps, bugs and the spice of life
I now have a monumental lump on my thigh, matched only by the collection of savage bites inflicted by horse-flies. This all started a few days ago when I decided to air the room (more about that later). As I threw open the windows, a couple of dozen alarmed paper wasps tumbled into the room, and just as quickly politely flew back out. If it had been just us that would be the end of it but holiday guests go crazy if they so much as see an ant in the garden. So whilst they beavered away building their paper nest GS and I mulled over the compatibility of holiday guests and wasps.
Having checked they definitely weren’t bees and read that wasps all go to bed at night GS and I plotted like assassins. The kids were dispatched to the local supermarket to get tins of Wasp Death spray. Then, at the dead of night I held onto GS’s shorts to stop him falling out of the window (whilst ready to do a runner) whilst GS bravely aimed the wasp killer squirter. The squirter had a 4 meter range, GS is a good shot and the sleeping waspbies were about 2 foot away.
Within moments, the massacre had been executed, the window slammed shut and through the safety of glass we guiltily watched a slippery foam of dead and dying wasps fall onto the windowsill.
In the morning a lone stop-out wasp flew back to the empty dead nest, checked the open pores where once larva had been nurtured, saw all his dead family slumped at the bottom of the window cill and flew off.
I do not believe that this is a coincidence that a lone wasp has just flown up towel and goosed me.
As for Horseflies they are thug bastards that don’t bother with sneaking up on you so you don’t notice. A horsefly does not give a horse pooh. It lands, tears an almighty bite out of your arm and drinks the blood. After you have shaken the blighter off, the bite blows up for a week as your body mishears the ‘fly’ bit and acts as if it has been bitten by a sabre toothed equine.
However what punched a hole in our idyllic Tuscan dream this week was what now feels an old fashioned foe.
It all started when GS went bright pink, had various fevers and took to the bed. I brought him lots of tea, and delicacies and stroked his feet from a safe distance.
‘I think I’ve got Covid’ he groaned
‘WHAT!’
‘The guy I was rowing with last week had just got Covid’
‘WHAT!’
The test was positive and as I’m a ‘In sickness as in health’ kinda girl I lobbed a few shrink wrapped cakes from a safe distance and took off to the furthest point of the house.
The whole ‘I’ll sleep upstairs so as not to catch it’ didn’t exactly work out and 24 hours later I too was bright pink and going hot and cold.
The combination of being slightly delirious and following in the footsteps of holiday guests was somewhat like being gaslit. A bed had disappeared from the corner of BB’s bedroom and was later found in GS’s study. Bath plugs had disappeared and were found accumulated together as a breeding colony on the downstairs loo. The toilet seat cover had been ripped off and all of the glasses moved to the shed. I definitely wasn’t hallucinating.
Why? Why? Is this a variant of musical chairs- move furniture whilst on your holibobs? Had our guests been playing Loo- seat frisbee in the garden? Had the guests brought poltergeists with them?
Luckily, after a few days we were clear again in time for the family to arrive. We decided to take them for the Segreto wine tasting/live music experience that I waxed lyrical about in my last bloglet.
GS, calling Greta, his favourite at Segreto, understood through a bit of confusion that there was an event, but that we could go. We walked up through the fairy lights of the vineyard to our table. We were very conscious of receiving askance glances from the other guests. It turned out that we were gate crashing a dinner of the Italian Peperoncino (Chilli Pepper) Club.https://clubitalianopeperoncino.it In no time the occupants of various tables were talking to us, curious as to what English speakers were doing there and offering us jars of fresh green chillis and bright red chillis.
I don’t know what it is about the idea of an Italian Pepperoncino Club that tickles me, but it does. Part of me couldn’t help thinking of the iconic scene from one of our favourite movies – ‘Benvenuti al sud’ when the character attends a dinner of the Illustrious Gorgonzola Society.
The wife of one of the members who had come to Italy in ’73 as an au pair and never gone back, told us that there were dinners where they all got together and a masked ball during Carnivale where you have to wear a pepperoncino garter. The suave President came to chat with us. So we are now the newest members of the Viareggio Chapter of the Club Italian Pepperoncino. http://clubitalianopeperoncino.it
Then it was time for the final swim of the summer. We love these swims, the sea soft and warm from a summer of heat. BB and I waded into the shallows. GS got his feet wet but then thought better of it on account of a bit of storm washed seaweed (and watching too many Discovery Channel shark movies). Instead of answering the siren call of a silky sea, he answered the call of the cold beers he had secreted amongst the towels.
BB and I turned in the water as the sun dipped lower in the sky. I kept getting little tingles that weren’t that pleasant. In fact they were like tiny electric shocks-
‘Ow- OW!’
‘Are you getting stung too?’ I asked my baby mermaid girl.
‘Yes- it’s medusas!’
‘A pepperoncino sea!’
And so, in a week where the natural world reminded us who was boss, we were ushered to shore by invisible jellyfish tentacles.
And so we sat with our sandy toes touching, watching the most glorious sunset, listening to the sea lap against the sand. These are the simple pleasures, the memories and family traditions that cost nothing but make us rich.
Then with hair matted by the sea, salty skin we flip-flopped down the boardwalk to sit down for a fabulous dinner at our favourite seafood restaurant at L’osteria del parco.https://www.instagram.com/explore/locations/278070145693501/losteria-del-parco/recent/?locale=en_US%252
Before we knew it we were chatting to the tables next door, comparing notes on how fresh and delicious the fish was and how cool and delightful the wine. We are so lucky.
I do hope you have enjoyed my little bloglet about life in Tuscany. Do please let me have your thoughts and of course, please do sign up for the mailing list. And I’d be delighted if you were able to share. Thank you!
4 Comments
Very entertaining and politically spot on, thank you!
Thank you so much Salli! I am so glad you enjoyed it and that it this the spot. I don’t usually mention politics but just couldn’t resist! X
Sometimes you have to endure some bites and bits to get to the good part. Loved “ BB and I [turning] in the water as the sun dipped lower in the sky” and happy to hear the Pepperoncino Club is not dying any time soon!
Thank you Xander! You are so right, and Long live Pepperoncino Club!