BA Business here we come!
We are in USA to attend a Writer’s Retreat in Tennesee.
It being a hike from the UK we have padded it out into a six week extraganza affordable through the delights of a mountain of Avios points to squander on the flight, and lots of home-exchange properties.https://www.homeexchange.com I was skeptical of home exchange at first but I have to say we are now complete fans – not only to we have the privilege of staying in homes rather than hotels but we are also able to strike up friendships with the owners. It seems creative minds have creative spaces and time and time again I am drawn to a house only to find that its owner is a writer, an artist or a musician. Perfect.
It’s been twenty years since I last flew business. Things have changed a lot. I thought I could sashay in all sophisticated but with the passage of time it is like Mr Bean on holiday. I didn’t realise the TV was adjustable so spent most of one film trying to make out figures on dark screen, meanwhile I was pressing every configuration so my chair was going from bolt upright to M shaped to W shaped to flat. When I finally realised you had to yank the telly to bring the screen into focus I did so just after a mug of tea had arrived. Luckily I was wearing a floaty beige ensemble and, once it had dried, you couldn’t see the tea stain patch.
Once I had seen the onboard menu I pleaded with the lovely airhostess not to force me to eat my pre ordered low calorie meal option. She took pity on me and not only was it the slow cooked pork belly but every time she passed she slipped me a chocolate or a biscuit. All in all, it was great, the flight over too soon.
The last time I landed in Miami, customs were surly and punchy. But this time they could not have been more friendly.
The only odd thing was that whenever I opened my mouth to speak they froze. We think that to American ears we sounded as if we had fallen from an episode of Downton Abbey. I admit I can’t help but play up to this even when drenched in tea.
Soon GS and I were looking at each other it dawning why Americans don’t feel the need to leave America.
The drive from Miami to Key West was stunning. Our driver played Cuban salsa music throughout. On the left we sped past a white boats bobbing feet away in an impossibly blue sea. In the water a group of swimmers frolicked with glasses full of what looked like Aperol. On the other side of the road was a high chain link fence and then marsh land.
‘Swim here’ said our driver pointing to the right.
‘No swim here’ said our driver pointing the bracken coloured swamp to our left. ‘Plenty cocadrilos’
Florida, it turns out, was hotter than the sun. So hot that my heart was trying to pop out of my rib cage. Any ice in drinks was immediately pressed between my palms and slid up and down my arms and neck. It made no difference. The heat index was 113, ‘feels like 45 degrees’ Even the fish in the bay were hot, turning slowly in still water.
Despite leaving our desks clear, real life would not leave us alone. To deal with it we needed working phones. It took us both a solid 8 hours of chat to get our phones working in the US.
At one point I heard a screech from GS sunning himself whilst talking on the phone.
‘A SNAKE!’
It turned out to be a very long Iguana tail hanging from a coconut palm. No sooner had it slunk away when then there was a huge plopping splash.
‘ARGGH’ shrieked GS.
Turns out that Papa-Iguana hadn’t leapt from the tree to have a dunk with GS. Instead it was a coconut cannoning down from the tree.
Baby-Iggy then fell in the pool whilst Papa-Iggy strutted around the garden munching on leaves, shaking his dew lap things and swearing at us as we cowered in the shade armed with coconuts.
GS and I realised we could do anything provided we hired bikes to create the faintest of breezes and were back up and up to our neck in the swimming pool by 11am staying there until the sundown bugle from the naval base at 8.04. It was HOT.
So while I put the coffee on, mornings were GS cycling to the local bakery to bring back a breakfast burrito. A short cycle admiring the houses, gardens and signs. Then long soaks dodging Iggies and Coconuts in the pool and a sundowner swim. Tropical Key West Bliss
It being a literary tour we did manage to go around Hemmingway’s house which was cool, spacious and the guide entertaining,
In the evenings, after the bugle calls declared it was sundown and human survival possible in the heat, we peddled off to find fish restaurants.
Finally the heat broke. Tropical storms pelted rain onto the roofs, lightening struck from slate clouds over the sea, winds swirled the palm trees and vegetation and the streets flooded. It was utter bliss.
Work caught up with me big time so GS went ahead to the bar while I worked, it quickly becoming clear that I would have a mountain to climb. But a few hours in I caught up with GS and his new best friends in the dive bar. We entertained the local bar life with anecdotes our vocal chords lubricated by the deceptive cocktails when we should have been packing. Rolling home, I may not have lost the power of speech but defo the ability to type.
I hope you have enjoyed my little bloglet on our literary and cultural tour of Southern US. Do please comment and let me know your thoughts and recommendations for Key West.
2 Comments
Ha!! Love your descriptions, Pia. I’m glad you hadn’t lost the ability to speak by the time you made it to Tennessee. ❤
Ha- no- despite the peach moonshine!